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Today I went to Subway.

There were these 12 year old boys hanging around. As I got my food and left they were all checking me out like little prepubescent lemurs and one of them said “Can I get your number?” And I turned around and said “Why, you need a babysitter?”

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ihaveabigcock-pit:

How much are we talking here


lovelorn-xo:

castielsteenwolf:

so my family plays this game where if someone is holding something and you yell “drop the bass” they have to drop what they’re holding so my mom was holding a carton of eggs so i yelled it and she looked me dead in the eye, dropped then eggs on the floor and whispered “you’ve gone too far

adopt me


Aquele momento em que eu tento estudar:

cueca-do-avesso:

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Você que bagunça o cabelo e ele fica mais bonito, qual a sensação?



Quando alguém fala mal do meu seriado favorito.

trollagem-mode-on:

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Trollagem-mode-on


…saio da cama de manhã e tenho que tomar banho nesse frio.

comoeumesintoquando:

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